


Instagram: Featuring Zorbs and Hobbits

by Sophie_skates_reads



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Figure Skating Fans hehe, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Harry Potter References, Hobbits, Honeymoon, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, New Zealand, Otabek is a Giant Nerd, The Lord of the Rings References, Tonya Harding References, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Yuri and Otabek are Married, Zorbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24746176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophie_skates_reads/pseuds/Sophie_skates_reads
Summary: When Yurifinallytalks Otabek into going to New Zealand for their honeymoon, silliness ensues. Follow the couple through Hobbits, giant Hamster balls (yes, Phichit would be thrilled beyond belief), and the adorable lunacy that is their marriage.(Otabek is also a GIANT NERD and I LOVE IT)Or: A honeymoon crackfic written in an hour xD
Relationships: Otabek Altin & Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Comments: 14
Kudos: 37





	Instagram: Featuring Zorbs and Hobbits

**Author's Note:**

> I heard that Zorbing was a thing, and, yeah, this happened.

When Yuri suggested they go Zorbing on their honeymoon, Otabek was skeptical, to say the least. 

“What exactly is _Zorbing,_ Yura?”

Yuri rolled his eyes, rolling onto his stomach from his position lying on the made bed, letting his legs kick in the air and his elbows support his upper body against the mattress. “It’s fucking cool,” Yuri said, in lieu of giving a definition to his fiance. “It’s this thing where they put you in like a giant hamster ball and kick you down a mountainside.” 

At the look on Otabek’s face, Yuri burst out laughing. 

“Yuri,” Otabek said, seriously, “You’ll die.” He’d always known that his fiance liked the more… extreme, side of activities, but throwing himself down a mountainside sounded a bit much, even for him.

“I won’t!” But Yuri’s indignant look was marred by his continuous laughter, “It’s perfectly safe, I promise!”

Otabek raised an eyebrow, “Yes, I’m sure several highly-trained teenagers shoving you off a cliff will be fun and all, but I’d prefer it if we actually got to grow old together, you know, as a married couple and stuff.”

“Well, you’re bound to be disappointed regardless,” Yuri said, cocking his head to the side and looking up at Otabek in the most dignified air a man lying half-naked on a bed like a fifteen-year-old girl can muster. A significant amount. “Because I don’t plan on getting old.”

“Oh really?” Otabek smirked.

“Nope,” Yuri said, popping the p. “I’ll stay young and pretty forever.”

“Which you can only do,” Otabek reminded him, “if you don’t die. No Zorbing.”

“Come onnnn, Beka!” Yuri whined, “You said yes to New Zealand before! You even got all excited about the Hobbit movie-set thing, and the glowworm caves!” 

“New Zealand isn’t what I have the problem with, I just don’t want you dead before next season. Don’t you want to live to beat Victor to the quad Axel?”

Yuri grinned, “Awww, you’re so cute wanting me to stay alive and stuff.”

“Yeah, I’m great like that.” Otabek huffed, rolling his eyes.

“You are,” Yuri smiled, pulling him down for a kiss, before propping himself up to look at Otabek, now sitting on the bed, head-on. “It’s not dangerous, though,” Yuri said, “I promise. People do it all of the time-- it’s a huge tourist attraction for New Zealand. I’ll be fine: you don’t have to worry, and we can even go visit your hobbit caves or whatever after with minimal complaining!” Yuri raised his eyebrows and put on his best car-salesman face, “Pleaseeeee?” 

Otabek stared down at him, face blank. If Yuri said it was safe, and if the research could back it up, and with Yuri looking at him like that… 

“Fine,” Otabek groaned, giving in as Yuri squealed and jumped up to hug him, dragging him so he lay on the bed with Yuri on his chest. “As long as I can get proof it’s safe and you promise you won’t die.”

“Yes!” Yuri fist-pumped, “I promise! It’ll be so much fun: there are all these courses and there’s this one called ‘The Drop’ and it’s supposed to be really scary because you free-fall and--”

“Yura,” Otabek cut him off, “don’t talk me out of this.”

Yuri just cackled and pulled him into a kiss. He truly is fucked.

***

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, Beka.”

“But it’s so steep--”

“It’ll be fine, Beka,”

“What if you break both legs?”

“Then you’ll just have to nurse me back to health and pull a Tonya-Harding on Victor until I can compete again,” that pulled a smile out of Otabek and Yuri grinned, kissing him, “I’ll be fine, promise, and after I’m done we can go to Hobbit-land and you can geek-out to your heart’s content, okay?”

Otabek sighed, nodding, “Okay,” and he allowed himself to be pulled into a kiss, “just please don’t break your legs, I’d really prefer not to have to buy a crowbar.” 

Yuri cackled, and with that, he was off and walking up the hill, the hill that was covered in luxurious, green grass and bracketed by wooden fences Otabek thought were a bit too pretty and rustic-looking to be comforting. Shit.

Otabek watched with bated breath as Yuri gave him the thumbs up from the top of the hill, his tiny face in the distance grinning from ear to ear. He tried to yell something, but Otabek missed it, though that didn't stop him from shouting a “Davai!” at the top of his lungs back to him.

With a deep breath, Otabek began recording on Yuri’s phone -- because God forbid that Yuri possibly embark on a suicide mission without the whole of Instagram seeing it -- and watched as Yuri dove headfirst into the glorified hamster ball -- it looked so flimsy! -- and was sealed in. 

It started off slow, the gate opened and Yuri in his hamster ball rolled gently down a small incline until it leveled off. At that point, Yuri had explained to him -- Otabek had researched every step of the process extensively and had made Yuri recite them back to him in hopes of minimizing the death-risk -- Yuri had to start walking the ball down the flat expanse until the slope dropped off and he fell -- Otabek winced at the thought -- and began rolling down a _very_ steep hill, following a path that would take him through a forest trail and eventually back to Otabek’s side.

Yuri began walking, and -- Otabek’s heart beat faster and faster as he saw the drop approaching -- suddenly, and with a shriek of what Otabek fervently hoped was delight (and Otabek _definitely didn’t_ let out a horrified screech of his own), dropped.

Yuri in his hamster ball plummeted with terrifying speed to the ground, the terrain sloping outward until he regained it once more, and began rolling every which way down the path; Otabek could see him tumbling over himself within the semi-transparent confines of the ball, blonde hair flying everywhere. 

As soon as it started, it seemed, it was over, and Otabek felt his heartbeat ease back to normal when Yuri-in-the-ball rolled to a stop a few feet away at the end of the course. A sopping wet Yuri (Otabek, in his frenzied research, had found that a small amount of water was also put inside the hamster balls, though the reasoning eluded him) slid from the ball like Superman, coming to a stop lying on his stomach on the (now damp) lush, green grass. 

“That,” Yuri said slowly, sitting up, “was fucking AWESOME! Beka, you have to try it! It’s so much fun!”

“I’m good, thanks,” Otabek let out a relieved little chuckle, helping Yuri up and hugging him, not particularly caring that he got wet by doing so. “I’m just glad you’re alive.”

“Told you I would be,” Yuri grinned, before, glancing down at his clothing, “now, I say we head back to the hotel so I can change, and then off to Hobbit-land we go!”

Otabek rolled his eyes fondly at the incorrect name (it was the original set where they filmed The Shire for The Lord Of The Rings in 1999 and _then_ The Hobbit in 2011, so really it should’ve been referred to as ‘LOTRS’ (Lord Of The Rings Shire; Otabek had picked up the term on a fan site online) not _Hobbit Land_ \-- did Yuri know nothing?)

And so they set off, making the trek (not as bad as it was from Middle Earth to Gondor, Yuri had joked, and Otabek had corrected him that it was from Middle Earth to Mount Doom, thank you very much, to which Yuri had just sniggered) back to the hotel, where, with a newly-dry Yuri, they embarked upon the fated journey to LOTRS. 

(Otabek ignored Yuri cooing over his “adorable, little nerd of a husband” and maintained his defense that he simply liked the movies and _most certainly had not_ dressed up as Aragorn for his Lord Of The Rings birthday party/Halloween at age seven. 

Yuri agreed that, no, he hadn’t done that for the birthday party, as he had been Gimli then since he was so little -- and fierce, according to Otabek’s mother, as mini-Otabek had emphatically proclaimed it --, and he had, in fact, been Aragorn when he turned 17, and-- don’t try to deny it, Beka, because your mom showed me the photo albums and I have proof!)

Otabek was starstruck when they, at last, made it to LOTRS, eyes wide and wonder-filled as he gazed around him at the place he’d dreamed of going ever since he was seven and had seen the movie for the first time! They even gave out little rings! 

Yuri scowled briefly when Otabek attempted to take off his wedding ring to slip The Ring ™  on his finger, but, when his maritally-valued ring wouldn’t rise above his knuckle and he remembered (for he had forgotten in his intense excitement) that he couldn’t wear the ring or else Sauran would know his location and he would turn kinda-evil, he gave up the attempt and apologized, slightly-dejectedly, to Yuri. Yuri, rolling his eyes, though with a fond look in them, simply removed the gold-chain necklace that hung around his slim neck, slipped off the small charm on it, and handed it to Otabek, who, practically bouncing up and down in excitement, hastily put The Ring ™  on it and put it around his neck.

(Yuri would later tease that The Ring™ was only supposed to be given out to children, and that the only reason Otabek had gotten one, was that the goth-looking teen handing them out at the entrance had been a fan of Yuri’s, and had given him a The Ring™ when he’d asked for it for his dork of a husband while Otabek was distracted gazing around at Hobbit-land-- and fuck, it _was_ Hobbit-land!

Otabek, on being presented the ring by a smiling, endeared Yuri, had practically squealed and snatched it from his hand like an excited child, grinning from ear to ear.)

Just about running around in delight, Otabek made his way through LOTRS (Hobbit-land), dragging Yuri behind him as he went. 

(For the record, and as Yuri teased him later on, Yuri was not dragged: Otabek had forgotten all about him and had left Yuri to hurry behind him and try not to laugh too loudly at his lovable dope of a husband. Otabek insisted that this was not at all true and that he hadn’t forgotten about Yuri, but Yuri was convinced.) 

Many pictures were taken during the tour of Hobbit-land-- and for once Yuri didn’t have to force Otabek into it. Otabek would pose, happy as a very excited, seven-year-old clam, and all but _demand_ that Yuri take pictures of him in front of Bilbo’s house, some green hill thing, and another weird, wooden cart that smelled faintly of fireworks and smoke. What the fuck. 

Otabek was happy though, and Yuri couldn’t shake how adorable it was that he was acting like this: Otabek, the ever-reserved, stoic, unfailingly polite man he’d married, was _squealing_ as a dude with a bow and arrow who looked kinda like Yuri took a picture with him. It was so cute!

Several hours, several second-breakfasts (okay, that aspect of Hobbitry was pretty cool), and several _dozen_ photos later, all of the sights had been seen, and though Otabek’s enthusiasm had yet to wane, he became more lucid, and agreed that they really _did_ need to eat dinner, and that, thank you, Yura!! they would come back tomorrow.

They were just walking out of the gate to the park when Otabek, seemingly finding the _one_ thing he hadn’t taken a picture with yet, called Yuri back.

“Just one more!” He begged, standing next to a Dumbledore-looking dude holding a pipe (what? Otabek could fanboy over a series but Yuri couldn’t?) and gesticulating wildly for Yuri to come back and take the picture. 

Sighing slightly, Yuri turned and trotted dutifully back to a few feet in front of his husband, crouching to take the picture. And, really, when Otabek looked like a happy puppy, who could deny him? Just as Yuri sank into position, though, the cobblestone he was standing on slipped out of place and--

“Shit!” Yuri swore, hissing in pain and falling back onto the ground, hands hovering over his ankle, searing in pain.

“Yura!” Otabek, for the first time that day, snapped out of his Hobbit-trance and hurried over to him, leaving knock-off Dumbledore’s side to crouch at Yuri’s own. “What happened?”

Yuri gritted his teeth and shook his head, tears pooling in his eyes: ankles were fucking painful. “The cobblestone broke or something,” he muttered as his ankle throbbed angrily, “I think I twisted it.” He grimaced at his ankle

Wrapping an arm around Yuri’s waist and carefully helping him up, Otabek guided Yuri to lean on his shoulder, wincing apologetically when Yuri hissed from the movement.

***

An hour and a half later, and Yuri was being lowered gently onto the hotel bed, a boot on his foot and an extremely apologetic husband in tow. 

“I am _so sorry,_ Yura,” Otabek said, for what had to be the dozenth time that night, “I shouldn’t have asked you to take another picture, we should’ve just left.”

Yuri shook his head, “It’s fine, Beka, and the doctor said I’ll be perfectly fine for the season-- it’s only two weeks with the boot and I’ll be normal again. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“It’s still my fault,” Otabek said miserably, “if I hadn’t gotten so caught up in the magic of Hobbit-land it never would’ve happened.” Yuri, feeling charitable, didn’t point out the fact that Otabek had just broken the sacred oath Yuri knew he must’ve taken as a part of _The Lord Of The Rings Official Fanclub and Database Accuracy-protectors_ by accidentally referring to LOTRS as ‘Hobbit-land’. He also didn’t mention the fact that, despite Otabek’s worries, Yuri had gotten hurt, not during his big, scary, Zorbing adventure, but in the gentle, Hobbit-ridden Shire. “I’m so sorry, I ruined our honeymoon.”

“Beka, it’s okay,” Yuri smiled, “I liked seeing you like that, so excited: it was adorable.” Otabek blushed pink, “and we still got to do what we wanted to while we’re here,” Yuri continued, “we got to go Zorbing and see Hobbit-land-- LOTRS,” he amended quickly, “and yesterday we even got to go on the glowworm tours at sunset. It was a great honeymoon.”

Otabek looked a little better, giving him a weak smile, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Yuri’s warm smile turned slowly into a demonic grin when he added, “plus, I got great stuff for Instagram.”

Otabek paled, “Yuri, no--” But it was too late, the damage was done. Yuri had posted, without fail, every single one of the pictures from Hobbit-land, plus the short video of Otabek taking in a great gasp at the sight of Bilbo’s house and tugging on Yuri’s arm, jostling the camera a bit, and exclaiming, “Look, Yura! It’s Bilbo’s house! This is _amazing!!”_

Yuri cackled as Otabek let out a low, mortified sound at the 968,752 likes the post had already gotten. “And that’s not even the best one!” He grinned and scrolled down on his account to his previous post. It was the video Otabek had taken of Yuri Zorbing, and, killing Otabek even further, a very prominent, very un-masculine shriek when Yuri’s hamster ball began rolling down the hill. Coming from _behind the camera._

Otabek’s eyes were wide and he looked pained as Yuri spasmed with laughter, barely breathing. The post read:

**Featuring the dulcet tones of one @Otabek_Altin having an aneurysm when I began rolling. Thanks for the faith, honey!**

_#justmarried #helovesmeipromise #zorbing #andthismansings_

“Thanks, Yura.” Otabek muttered weakly, already hearing the teasing from his sisters and his mother.

“No problem.” Yuri replied sweetly, kissing him on the cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> This was self-indulgent trash and I enjoyed it SO MUCH! Is it just me or does anyone else LOVE Otabek being a huge nerd? This was supposed to be about Yuri Zorbing (which is a real thing, by the way, and, yes, I MUST do it now!) with just a brief mention of Hobbit-land at the end, but, alas, the story went where it went AND I HAVE NO REGRETS. XD
> 
> If you feel so inclined, comments and kudos make me very happy and I greatly enjoy them whenever they appear. ♥


End file.
